November 13, 1996 - Thanks!

I'd be remiss if I didn't start this column by thanking the many, many people who helped pass the 1996 library mill levy increase.

It wasn't big money that carried the day. The campaign's total budget (including in-kind contributions) was less than $5,000. Nor was it due to the tricks of slick campaign professionals. This exciting new chapter in the history of our library depended upon the hard work of a group of dedicated volunteers (special thanks go to Mark Weston, Sue Meacham, and Cindy Murphy), the consistently good service of our staff, and the staunch support of regular library users. To all: my deepest gratitude.

I'd also like to thank the Mission Viejo Company. At the Say Yes Committee's request, they donated four large signs to the effort, created, posted, and removed entirely at their expense.

Too, I was impressed as always by the energy, dedication, and consummate professionalism of County Clerk and Recorder Reta Crain's election staff.

Finally, I'm especially thankful for the support of Douglas County's newspapers. We seek and serve the same literate, civic-minded audience. May we all thrive together; the public will be the richer for it.

And now, for something completely different.

Below is a collection of what people put on their insurance forms after an automobile accident. Like the column I did about funny headlines, the quotes were pulled from the Internet. Enjoy!

* Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

* I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

* In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

* I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

* I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

* My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

* The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

* I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

Finally, my personal favorite:

* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.