The first time I went bowling, I was a very new member of the Cub Scouts. And frankly, I was distracted, although I do not now remember why or by what.
How distracted was I? One time when I went to roll my ball down the lane, everybody in the building started shouting at me. I was mostly oblivious. Soon, the reason for their shouting became clear: I threw the ball just as the machinery was coming down to sweep the remaining pins of the previous bowler.
This machine -- which resembled a sort of huge dental retainer -- stopped my ball dead. Everybody in the place then watched and snickered at me as one of the staff had to saunter down the lane and fetch my ball back.
I do remember my final score. I bowled a record 17. It was a while before I bowled again.
But things have changed. The last time I bowled, about a year ago, I got 245. (A perfect score is 300.) Of course, that was almost as much a fluke as my first time. But this time, I adopted a sort of Zen-like attitude of sublime, ego-less serenity. I also actually aimed at the pins. Aiming, it turns out, makes a big difference.
My wife tells me she went "bumper bowling" once -- the bowling alley put huge, inflated bolsters in the gutters. She found that this not only eased her mind, but markedly improved her score.
The reason all this is on my mind again is that the Douglas Public Library District, as you may have read, is in the process of buying the Crossroads Lanes Bowling Alley, to be converted to a new Parker Library next summer (1995). But the bowling alley will still be in business from now until then.
And suddenly it occurred to me that what this county really needs is a Library Bowling League. Coincidentally, it happens that Crossroads Lanes has just one slot left -- Tuesday nights. I'm told that we need 24 people to make a league work. But the more, the merrier. A league involves a commitment of some 36 weeks, every Tuesday night from this Fall through next Spring.
I've never been in a bowling league before. But (assuming the deal goes through), this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go bowling at the (future) Parker Library. I just can't pass up something like that. Can you?
I hope not. Because the only way I can create a Library Bowling League is if I can get enough other people to sign up with me.
I'm absolutely serious. If you sign up to bowl with us, you'll have to pay for your own bowling, but I promise to do my best to get us all bowling shirts, which are bound to be worth a lot of money some day.
No previous bowling experience is necessary. We're doing this to have fun. On the other hand, I am perfectly prepared to buy, and read, some books about better bowling.
If you'd like to join me in this bold new adventure, just give the Parker Library a call at 841-3503. Leave your name and number. I promise we'll get back to you.
Let's show this county that when regular readers put their minds to it, almost anything is right up our alley.
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